Robert Godfrey Oliver
June 5, 1940 – September 6, 2025
Robert G. (Bob) Oliver of New Haven, husband of Barbara Cooney Oliver, passed away September 6, 2025, at the age of 85.
He was born June 5, 1940, in San Diego, the son of Captain Robert J. Oliver, USN, and Esmeralda Godfrey Oliver. His father was from Ohio, and Bob traveled there regularly throughout his life, maintaining his family roots. He spent his early years on the West Coast while his father served in the Pacific during WWII. As a young boy, he was at Pearl Harbor at the time of the attack.
Roommate Bob Breault expands on this experience:
“Few knew that Bob Oliver was an eyewitness to the start of the USA’s involvement in WW II. His dad was a naval officer stationed in Hawaii – and he fortunately was the commander of one of the few US Naval vessels that was out to sea when Honolulu was attacked. Bob was just a year and a half old, but he remembers the Japanese planes flying low not far from where he stood.”
After the war, the family settled in Washington, D.C. He was valedictorian of the class of 1958 at Landon School, Bethesda, MD, and went on to Yale College, graduating Class of 1962 magna cum laude.
At Yale he was a history honors major and a ranking scholar. In Branford College he was on the aide staff and the captain of the swimming team. He performed many leadership roles in the campus political organizations (successively chief whip, treasurer, and chairman, Conservative Party, and treasurer, then president, of the Young Democrats. His roommates were Scott Barksdale, Bob Barnes, Bob Breault and Tim Hall.
Tim Hall remembers the day he and Bob first met, on moving-in day in their room at 98 Welch Hall in 1958. Bob’s mother, who was a force of nature and liked to be called Lala, had accompanied Bob from Washington to New Haven. Upon meeting Tim’s parents, Lala immediately examined them sharply about their son’s high school academic performance, study habits, personal hygiene and behavior, bedtime, and other facets of his character. (And then Tim’s parents reciprocated.) And they all went on to become the best of friends. In future summers, Tim spent many weekends in D.C., where his girlfriend, a nursing student, was in a summer program at St. Elizabeth’s Hospital, and Lala insisted he stay with them, welcoming him into their home and family.
Bob’s son Rob tells the story of why Lala was by herself on moving-in day. Because of Bob’s Navy upbringing, he applied to the U.S. Naval Academy, as well as Yale, to the delight of Captain Oliver. And both accepted him. But Bob’s mother had leanings toward Yale, much to the dismay of his father, who told Lala in frustration, “Well, if he’s going to go to Yale, you can just take him up there yourself!” Bob went on to graduate with High Honors.
He then proceeded to graduate from Yale Law School three years later, and settled in New Haven, joining the firm of Daggett, Colby and Hooker. He worked there until 1982, when he joined Flanagan, Mulvey and Oliver, later Mulvey Oliver Gould and Crotta. He practiced law in New Haven for over 50 years and was active until his last illness. He was a proud resident of the Elm City. Between 1966 and 1972 he served on the City of New Haven Board of Aldermen and as a State Representative for Wards 1-5.
Through his work in New Haven Democratic politics, he became close friends with fellow Yalie Bill Rees, Class of 1956, and his seat on the Board of Aldermen had been the one Bill had held for many years, before he retired. In his “In Memoriam” tribute to Bob, Bill lauded Bob’s dedication to public service:
“Bob was a conscientiously successful public servant. A loyal Democrat, he participated in many elections at all levels, was elected to the New Haven Board of Alderman, and, later, elected three times to the Connecticut House of Representatives, each time by a plurality of 71%. It was a time when millions of dollars flowed into New Haven for rehabilitating decaying neighborhoods and for rebuilding the city center. There was a link to that center from where two neighboring turnpikes joined that was to be paid with city funds. But if that link had been a part of a turnpike system, it would be paid for by federal funds. The city planners thus drew a line on a map for an 18-lane turnpike through New Haven to Derby, Connecticut, a sleepy town on the Naugatuck River. That plan that was approved by city and federal agents, and dozens of vibrant neighborhoods in its path were destroyed. Nor did the map indicate that a huge cemetery and the Yale Baseball Stadium were also in its path. To his horror, Bob learned of this plan while in General Assembly and was outraged. He drafted a bill to prevent state funds from being used for such a monstrosity. His bill was approved and became law. Dick Lee, the reasonably famous Mayor of New Haven and recipient of a Yale Honorary Degree, was furious with Bob and threatened never to support him if he ran for any office again. Except for a two-lane frontage road on either side of the proposed turnpike, nothing was built; it remains a line on a map in some city planning file. The place where hundreds of homes had stood became a parking lot for the Yale New Haven Hospital.” (Bill’s tribute to Bob is posted in its entirety below this obituary.)
Bob also served 30 years in the United States Navy Reserve JAG, starting in the Coast Guard during the Vietnam era and then transferring to the Navy and ultimately retiring with the rank of Captain, like his father. His service included stints throughout the United States, onboard ship, as well as at the US Embassy in Rome.
Bob & Barb at the 35th Class Reunion, 1997
He loved sports and adopted the Red Sox when he moved to New England. He attended Game 6 of the 1975 World Series – some say the greatest game ever played – and scored Carlton Fisk’s game winning home run in pencil in the program. He loved Yale hockey, and the relationships that it afforded enriched his life. He stood for 60 years on the rail at Yale’s David S. Ingalls rink, always in jacket and tie, where generations of Bulldog fans knew his signature chants of “Go Eli” and “Pressure!” He traveled to Pittsburgh to watch the Bulldogs win the 2013 NCAA National Championship.
He was devoted to his children, grandchildren and their families. As hard as he worked during the week, he was selfless with his weekends, shuttling his children and their friends to rinks and fields near and far, often before sunrise. He attended nearly every game for his kids and grandkids, from Yale Youth Hockey, Fairfield Prep, Hobart College, Choate, and more recently Hamden Youth Hockey, Amity High School, and Stowe VT Youth Hockey. He was active in Yale Youth Hockey and was proud to have played a role in establishing the annual Carl Marottolo sportsmanship award.
He was past president of the New Haven County Bar Association. A long-time resident of Westville, he was involved with the polls for what is now Ward 25. He was a member of the Knights of St. Patrick, the St Nicholas Society. He read widely, but he had a particular love of military history. (Hall and Breault remember hearing incessantly about the details of the Panay Incident, in which the USS Panay was attacked by the Japanese in 1937, a key event leading up to World War II.)
Bob was an only child, so he relished a bustling home full of friends and family – hosting many memorable Yale-Harvard football parties, attended by numerous classmates. Tim Hall and his kids remember fondly several fall weekends over the years, staying at the Olivers’ house on big Yale football weekends. Also known for his love of holidays, he never wanted to take the Christmas lights down at his Westville home. He took pleasure in maintaining lifelong friendships and was proud when he saw his children do the same. He took great interest in his children’s friends, whom he regarded as extended family.
Continually active in class affairs over the years, he served as Alumni Class Secretary for Yale Class of 1962, and he always played a special role in our class. As Lee Bakunin of the 1962 Communications Team put it,
“[Bob was] a legend who typified the heart, soul and spirit of Yale. Truly one who gave of himself without any thought of return. While I did not have a lot of interaction with Bob O. during my years at Yale, he remains an unforgettable character in our 1962 Class. Perhaps, if there was a Designation as ‘Shepherd of the Class,’ that would be Bob O. I’ll bet he interacted with more members of our class than anyone else.”
In later years, he wrote the obituaries for his deceased classmates, devoting himself meticulously to the research for each, and referring to himself as “your scribe.” He was Chairman of the Yale Class of 1962 50th Reunion. (Most classmates would probably agree that two of the biggest alumni leadership roles in a class are Class Secretary and 50th Reunion Chair.) John Stewart, our Class Secretary, shared these memories of working with Bob:
“By chance I met Bob outside of the Atticus Cafe on Chapel Street in the spring of 2011 or 2010 and very off-handedly he asked if I would edit the 50th Reunion Class Book. Somehow, he knew I had been involved with the 25th. I was still working but said yes, not knowing how it would work. That’s a whole other story. But I joined Bob at Reunion Committee meetings in the fall of 2011, enormously enjoying his company, especially his wit and rather sarcastic humor. He always called a spade a spade, especially in dealing with the YAA people, most of whom he had little time or patience for, in the sense that he put our class first, and sensing that their ‘help’ perhaps tilted a little toward Yale. He was great at running meetings – no wasted words – and we had a great time and formed a close bond. The mystery remains how in the beginning we knew each other, but I’m very grateful for every moment we had together. Among his many gifts was the treasured gift of being a great friend.”
Bob and Barb loved to travel, especially wherever his children were. He was an avid hiker, with frequent trips on the Appalachian trail in New England. Other trips included the Pacific Coast Trail and Alaska. He and Barbara loved the beauty and tranquility of Mohegan Island, ME.
“And Oliver” was a master at maintaining connections with classmates. Case in point: roommate Bob Barnes, who with wife Beverly has a summer home in Belfast, ME, has fond memories of Bob and Barb’s returns from Monhegan:
“Bev and I remember that at this time of year we arranged to meet and have a meal with Bob and Barb as they returned by ferry from their annual Monhegan Island vacation. That was an important part of our summer routine in Maine that we dearly miss.”
Visiting hours were held in the Iovanne Funeral Home, and a Mass of Christian burial was celebrated the next day Blessed Michael McGivney Parish at St. Michael Church in New Haven.
The wake and funeral were heart-filled events, masterfully organized and managed by Bob’s children, particularly Katy and Rob. There is a personal account of these two days, “Moments with Bob,” posted elsewhere on this site.
Roommate Bob Barnes had the following comment on what he had heard about that weekend:
“I was touched by the many references to the children, grandchildren and all the cousins who were there. The description of the gathering in the church of all the generations as Bob was leaving was warm and meaningful. [The] mention of the following generations as Bob’s heritage was right on. I was touched by the many times the U.S. Navy was referenced. Bob and his family were proud that he served, and Bob and I had several memorable conversations about those days. The Navy’s participation in the folding-of-the-flag was touching.”
Bob is survived by his beloved wife of 57 years, the former Barbara Cooney, of New Haven; his 4 children: Rob Oliver (Adrienne Betz) of Woodbridge, John “Mac” Oliver (Elide Valerini) of Santa Barbara, CA, Patrick Oliver (Meredith Ford) of Oakland, CA, and Kate Challenger (Grant) of Stowe, VT; and by 7 beloved grandchildren: Liam (17), Seamus (14) and Maeve (10) Oliver; Olivia (13) and Heath (9) Challenger; Desmond (4) and Louisa (2) Oliver.
— Tim Hall (Sources: The family obituary, classmates, and Yale publications.)
IN MEMORIAM for Robert G. Oliver
My dear friend, a beloved husband, father and grandfather, has gone to his eternal reward. Friedrich Nietzsche has written that the life of a great man ought to be summarized by three telling anecdotes. Here are three Bob Oliver anecdotes.
After graduating both from Yale College and Yale Law School, this Washington D.C. native remained in New Haven to practice law. Fortunately for my family, he resolved two controversies: a landlord’s dispute with my youngest son and a neighbor’s demand for damages from my cancer-ridden mother. Bob displayed both his professional acumen and the essence of his friendship by refusing to send a bill for services rendered both times.
Bob was a loyal and industrious member of the Yale College Class of 1962. He was a tireless writer of obituaries of deceased classmates that were published on the class website, Yale62.org, and he was also the chairman of the 50th Class Reunion, an exceedingly important event both for reviving friendships of classmates and for harvesting contributions to their Alma Mater. As chairman, he prevailed in many organizational challenges. In particular, when the reunion staff refused to schedule the major Class Dinner on its traditional evening, Bob’s persistence made them change their minds. The outcome far surpassed anyone’s wildest expectations.
Bob was a conscientiously successful public servant. A loyal Democrat, he participated in many elections at all levels, was elected to the New Haven Board of Alderman, and later, was elected three times to the Connecticut House of Representatives, each time by a plurality of 71%. It was a time when millions of dollars flowed into New Haven for rehabilitating decaying neighborhoods and for rebuilding the city center. There was a link to that center from where two neighboring turnpikes joined that was to be paid with city funds. But if that link had been a part of a turnpike system, it would be paid for by federal funds. The city planners thus drew a line on a map for an 18-lane turnpike through New Haven to Derby, Connecticut, a sleepy town on the Naugatuck River. That plan that was approved by city and federal agents, and dozens of vibrant neighborhoods in its path were destroyed. Nor did the map indicate that a huge cemetery and the Yale Baseball Stadium were also in its path. To his horror, Bob learned of this plan while in General Assembly and was outraged. He drafted a bill to prevent state funds from being used for such a monstrosity. His bill was approved and became law. Dick Lee, the reasonably famous Mayor of New Haven and recipient of a Yale Honorary Degree, was furious with Bob and threatened never support him if he ran for any office again. Except for a two-lane frontage road on either side of the proposed turnpike nothing was built; it remains a line on a map in some city planning file. The place where hundreds of homes had stood became a parking lot for the Yale New Haven Hospital.
At times like this, I find consolation in these lines of John Donne: “…when [the Church] buries a man, that action concerns me; all mankind is of one author, and is one volume; when one man dies, one chapter is not torn out of the book, but translated into a better language;…[and] God’s hand is in every translation…” As Bob is being translated “into a better language,” may God have mercy on his soul and may the angels guide him to his home in the heavenly Jerusalem.
— Bill Rees, 5Y6, New Haven, September 8, 2025
Also from Tim Hall: “Moments with Bob Oliver, Family, and Friends”