April 23, 2015
VOL. XVII NO. 3
DEALING
WITH DYING


Cartoon by Bill Hamilton for Yale62.org. If you'd like to own the original, make Bill an offer at sawthrough@gmail.com. He'll donate the proceeds to the class. (FYI, The New Yorker sells originals for $1200 and up. We're starting our bidding at $500.)



Dear Classmates,

With this issue we deal with our own deaths in what we hope are constructive ways. You'll find

— Bill Stork on his plans to lighten the burden of practical matters that inevitably falls on survivors;
— Links to newly completed obituaries of classmates, giving a cross-section of lifetime achievements from well-known to quiet: Chaplin Barnes, Peter Bell, Grey Freeman, Peter Greer, Charlie McKee, Jim Pappas, Jack Pirozzolo, George Russell, and Thomas Saine;
— A look at our class's unusual approach to obituaries, marshalled by Bob Oliver, with tips on how we can help him;
— Recent musings on aging ambition by sportswriter Jack Graves, and on dying trees by historian Jon Saari.

If this food for thought stimulates you to send us reflections and suggestions of your own, please know they will be welcomed with special warmth by
Click here to add your comments.

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FOR OUR SURVIVORS
Being Mindful of Dying

By Bill Stork

Worth hearing. Bill Stork at a recent Yale Leadership Forum

Dying!

Hey! We all know we will! But when we do, is that a situation where we can care about the ones left behind? Or do we just leave it to them to pick up the pieces?

I have talked to a number of people in my generation, Yale grads and others, about how we should best prepare those that follow for our passing. As I see the increasing number of classmates on the Necrology list, I am mindful that (hello!) I always could be next. And while it may be helpful to discuss "death with dignity," hospice, and other avenues for departure, I am continually reminded of how our survivors must cope with the departure of a loved one at a time when emotions are raging so high.

Part of the answer... click here to find this and many other parts of the answer, including Bill's recommendations for other short readings and Steve Buck's experience with "covering seemingly lugubrious subjects in a very positive way." Please note Bill's acknowledgement that not everything his says will be relevant to all of us, and his nice suggestion that others add their own experiences, thoughts and recommendations.

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WRITING OBITUARIES
Meticulous Caring

"That none shall pass and be forgotten in silence."

Not in silence. Caring and respectful, Bob Oliver so far has written or supervised even-handed obituaries for 170 members of the class of 1962.

When one of our classmates, Paul Johnson, died in 1996, neither Yale College, the Yale Law School, his alma maters, nor most of his Yale acquaintances were told.

Yet 14 years later, a six-paragraph obituary appeared in our class's "In Memoriam" archive.

It was a fruit of the persistence of Bob Oliver, the remarkable obituary voice for all of us over the last 28 years. At the end, Bob, as usual, acknowledged the sources he tracked down through "all kinds of phone calls" — a Wellesley administrator who was a cousin of Paul's, a relative who was a 1984 Yale graduate and was teaching at Columbia, and our classmate Jack Williams. Bob had started with only a simple note that the University's alumni records office generated when news of the death finally got there.

Other difficult obituaries have involved... click here for the rest of this article, and click here for suggestions about preparing information about your life that your survivors can submit.

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REMEMBRANCE
Newly Added Obituaries
for Yale '62 Classmates

Click on the links below for obituaries posted on our class "Obituaries" page since the last such announcement.

Chaplin Barnes
Peter Bell
Grey Freeman
Peter Greer
Charles McKee
Jim Pappas
Jack Pirozzolo
George Russell
Thomas Saine

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TURNING 75
Feeling Fine and Having Fun

By Jack Graves

From The East Hampton Star, February 18, 2015

I've got to get beyond the birth-and-death thing, as my Zen book advises, though the good news is that my birthday is tomorrow and Mary is going to take me out to dinner.

Un-grave Graves. Jack the jock at a past edition of the annual Artists and Writers baseball game in East Hampton, NY

When recently the subject of first loves came up, I told her that mine had tossed me over in the end because I had "no ambition."

"That was what Mom and I always admired about you, that you had no ambition," she said, "that you chose to go your own way."

"Well, I do have ambition," I said. "It's just not the usual kind. For instance, I'm very ambitious to know what the chemical word for beet juice is. It's a question in today's crossword puzzle."...

Click here for the rest of Jack's column.

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FORESTRY
The Wisdom of Trees

By Jon Saari

A historian's muse. Jon and Christine on their farm in Austria with an aging pear tree that stirred Jon's reflections. He writes: "Most of the bark is gone, and the ashen wood, long home to nesting birds and insects, is breaking apart. Only a thin continuous strip of bark on one side protects the living layers that draw sustenance through the roots to nourish the leaves, blossoms, and fruit."

We can learn from trees, I wrote recently in a nature essay: We appreciate the fine grains of wooden furniture and floors, the beauty of turned bowls and sauna buckets, the solid log walls of a homestead... But whole living trees have more to teach us. We share life and death with them.

Trees have a life cycle that, like ours, can be cut short by disease, accidents, disturbances. They stand patiently in one place, as they must, but reach beyond themselves with seeds and fruits and the myriad creatures that briefly call them home. Their lives can ebb away for decades, with parts rotting while roots, strips of living bark, and green leaves keep replenishing their life with water and light. Even as fallen logs, trees nurture other forms of life for many years.

The process of aging interests me most now, because that is where I am, nearing age 75, closer to death than birth....

Click here for coffee and savoring the world.

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NOTIFYING CLASSMATES OF SERVICES

If you would like classmates to be notified about your funeral or memorial activities, if we get the information in time the Class of 1962 will send information to the names on our class email list. Please ask those who will be in charge to send the details to Bob Oliver at oliver@moglaw.com, 203-624-5111, and for backup to John Stewart, Co-Corresponding Secretary, at johnhargerstewart@gmail.com, 845-789-1407. We will not send out information unless someone makes this request.

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PLEASE LET US KNOW HOW WE'RE DOING

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